A man is charmed essentially by what he sees and a woman is charmed essentially by what she hears. A man then obviously wants a good-looking woman; but he is charmed not just by the bone-structure and its covering of flesh and skin, but by everything he can see. He is charmed by a woman’s total physical appearance. That appearance includes her physical beauty, cleanliness of appearance, clothes, posture, her overall deportment, her air of confidence, the look of detached aloofness in her eyes, and especially her smile. Men live on women’s smiles.

There is no reason, then, why a man who knows that women are vain should ever have to be insincere. There is much he can legitimately praise. He is charmed by what he sees, and he knows that women know that men are charmed by what they see. He ought to capitalize on it. Even if he were an immoral opportunist, he still ought to be sincere when he can. After all, the first rule of being a spy is to tell the truth when you can and lie only when you have to. Here there is no need to lie.

The moral man has only to analyze which of the many things a woman possesses that charm him and tell her so with deliberate flair.

If a man were not charmed by a certain something, he wouldn’t be trying to win the woman in the first place. Since he is charmed, he might as well find out what attracts him and spend some of his time telling her about it.

Now women want to be loved and they know that men love attractive-looking women. Being told she is attractive is synonymous, to most women, with being told she is loved. We all have our own self-interest at heart, and it is a man’s best interest to appeal to a woman’s self-interest.

As the quote says, “Flattery will get you nowhere unless the woman you are talking to is vain; but as most women are vain, flattery will get you almost anywhere.”

This of course would not be true if attractive women were secure, but that is one thing they are not. Although they should be, they aren’t. Now, a woman’s charm is locked in her genetic structure, but a man’s charm is as high and as wide and as free as he can find words to give it utterance. A woman is limited romantically by her physical appearance and if fate should make her physically attractive, it is doubtful that her bone structure will change overnight. If she were beautiful yesterday, she ought to be beautiful tomorrow. She ought to feel secure if the things most fundamental to her charm are not apt to change.

The truth is, however, that women are more insecure, for while a man’s interest easily runs to the heights of captivation with a single glance, his interest is just as easily distracted by another glance at some other attractive woman.

Being told she is good-looking or attractive to a woman is her single best indicator of a man’s love. Telling her you find her attractive is expressing to her that she is loved, but she requires your constant daily reassurance to continue in that state of mind.

The only problem with this flattery is that she may not believe you’re sincere. Gently point out to her that you have no reason to lie or else you wouldn’t be pursuing her in the first place.

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